once again i find myself in one of these introspective nightmares.
why do i do this to myself?
i look back on times when i charged up my mohawks, destroyed my body and played my bass for days on end... giving nothing else any thought; when i look back those times of twisted reality actually seem happer than what i know know. One would think that there would be some fullfillment in living clean, going to college and haveing a "nice" job, but it ends up leaving you just as drained and empty as anything.

I go looking for life in all thr wrong places, actually thinking that i can find some meaning to it all. I watch people around me every day and see thier listless eyes dart unkowingly from corpse to corps, speaking muted words making meaningless conversations. we are all dying, it is just a matter of when and how.
and what about when it is all said and done? will our present happiness really make a difference? what about the social changes we made here or the live we have touched, will that matter when all is over.
Perhaps death is as the ancient tribes thoght, a birth into something new. i hope it is so. we will be thrust out of the womb of our current rality into something we never could concieve of. Our new lungs will take thier first beath and our new eyes will open.
something big is coming that will change the world forever, we won't have time to ponder death anymore.
how long
how long
how long to sing this song